January blues
The past three weeks have been plagued by a virus that has left me unable to leave the house. I have a constant cough, no appetite, and aches in places I didn’t know existed.
I enjoy spending time at home, especially during cold weather, but I won't stay indoors all day, every day. In the second week, I took charge and emptied my drawers to refold and organize my clothes. I realized just how many scarves I own, even though I hardly ever wear them.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm rapidly approaching 60, despite trying to kid myself otherwise. I'm losing my eyesight and hair, but I nearly burst into tears when I struggled to remove the lid from a juice bottle. This happened just days after I had trouble opening a milk container. When did my strength begin to fade, and will it return??
I’ve been catching up on reading and finished my Christmas books. Now, I’m going through a collection of letters by British actor Dirk Bogarde. He writes about life in Venice and a French farmhouse, mentioning the dreadful weather upon his reluctant return to London. In his semi-retirement, he focuses on his flowers, dogs, and trips to the food market, with notable visitors like Judy Garland and Richard Attenborough. This reflects how I also centre my life around my dog, grocery shopping, and my desire for a garden.
If Dirk was writing his letters today, he would likely be using email—or even FaceTime or Zoom. In his time, life was devoid of the internet and mobile phones; he had only just purchased a colour TV. The TV has become my lifeline; I watch the news in bed every morning at 7 AM and end my day with the 10 PM news. My life seems to revolve around these broadcasts. Am I the only one who reaches for the TV? Even with the sound turned down, I enjoy its company.
The constant cough has severely impacted my diet. I've been limited to grapes and raspberries for two days with a swollen throat. Despite friends' advice to drink plenty of water, I can’t handle anything hot, so I’ve switched to juice. Normally, I enjoy a variety of salads, bread, and indulgent favourites like ice cream and white chocolate cookies. After 40 years as a vegetarian, this experience has been overwhelming. My eyes have sunk like lost chocolate raisins at the bottom of my Birkin bag.
Durham University has asked me to share my experience as an "older influencer" on Zoom and discuss how I style my clothes. This morning, while leaving the chemist in my well-loved cargo pants, I had a mishap when they slipped past my thighs. I came home, holding the waistband in place due to my weight loss. To top it off, I was wearing odd socks and just one earring. I can only imagine what Dirk would think!
Heaven knows what Dirk would think